Things that are Fucking Insane

So you're probably aware that Batman and Robin is not a very good movie. Scientists actually theorize that its release in 1997 actually resonated back in time and murdered the last unicorn through sheer clusterfucking awfulness. One level deeper, you might now that a U2 song was prominently included on the soundtrack (Coincidence? I think not). But did you know that R. Kelly composed a song for Joel Schumacher's most homosexual movie featuring bats since The Lost Boys? It's called Gotham City. Have a watch, and then come back.

So where did that video lose you, huh? Was it when R. Kelly drove the Batmobile through the ghetto? Was it the fact that he repeatedly describes Gotham as a city of Justice and a city of Peace, betraying the fact that he has probably never read a comic book? Or is it the fact that when you put it together- none of it makes any fucking sense? It's very clearly a song that R. Kelly wrote about Chicago and then realized he needed two more gold toilets to really complete his mansion so he decided to get in on that sweet Batman and Robin Money. Before you know it, he's balls deep in Batmobile leather and pissing like Midas himself. This song was a NUMBER 9 HIT. NUMBER FUCKING NINE. Between this and grunge fasion, is there any way we can go back in time and bomb the nineties?

Wash the taste out of your mouth with the equally batshit but much less self important video for Prince's Batdance, also a hit when it was released in conjunction with 1989's Batman.

Prince - Batdance - Watch more Music Videos at Vodpod.

(Get the funk up)

Some quick ones

• So there's a movie coming out about The Runaways, where my favorite lady in rock, Joan Jett, got her start. I'm excited to have a movie about the Runaways, but supremely worried that it's starring Kristen Stewart whose acting career so far has proven that a cucumber has enough charisma to make it in Hollywood. Also, Dakota Fanning is in it and the way she looks is making me feel confused in my pants.
• Oh, and by the way- if you like all this, you'd more than likely be a fan of Young Liars. The design of this cover (on the left) should be enough to make you curious. It's an insane comic about young people being awful. Like It's Always Sunny, but with more genital mutilation and cool listening suggestions at the beginning of each issue.

• If you're enjoying the blog but want to see me fag out about rock fashion and old bands more often, I invite you to follow my tumblr, which is updated often enough that you'll soon be insisting that I either get a job or see a doctor.

• Additionally,if you somehow found your way to this blog but don't know me personally- welcome! That's me, over on the right. I like to rock. I think this is mainly a blog about music, but I could see it becoming a pop culture blog just as quickly.
• I am never going to stop hating the word "blog," or stop being embarassed that I have to use that word to describe what I like to write in.
• I have a band, and we are Big Damn Heroes. I play with three of my best friends and we make music that is fun. If you're wondering what we sound like, I'm going to try to post a file every once in a while on the tumblr. Dylan, who you should bug to start writing again at his blog Top 5 Everything. If you're lucky, he'll come here and do an entry because he is also a bangarang writer, musician and source of trivia for all things popcultural.
• Oh yeah, this is the band.
• ROCK.